If you’ve been in couples therapy, chances are you’ve practiced the classic “I” statements: “I feel hurt when…” or “I need you to…” These statements are meant to foster open, blame-free communication. But let’s face it—they can sometimes feel stiff, formulaic, or even shallow. Worse, they may not bridge the emotional gap between you and your partner.

So, what if there was a more dynamic approach? Instead of rigidly focusing on what you feel or need, shift your focus outward with openness, curiosity, and compassion. Start by deeply listening—not just to the words, but to the meaning behind them.

In our fast-paced world with 24/7 communication, hustle-culture and competitive social calendars, the pressure to show up all of the time seems endless. Patterns of co-dependency and people pleasing have become the norm for many. You may find you can rationalize the perpetuating patterns that leave you depleted. One or more of the following statements may resonate with you:

We often think of effective communication as getting the other person to hear and understand what we are saying. But what if we reconceptualize the way we look at communication, especially in our most important relationships.